The Phone Died

Recently my parents were in town, visiting for the weekend. We were sitting downtown watching the parade for our towns harvest festival, when my phone began to ‘ding’ with incoming text messages. Then it started to ring. I stepped away from the parade to take the call, trying not to disturb my fellow parade goers.

When I returned, my Mother looked at me and said “Sounds like you need to go to work.” “Not yet.” I reply. “It’s just Rose, she has a cow calving, but I think it will be fine.”

I go on to explain that Rose only has nine cows. But each time one calves, I will receive no less than six text messages, and an equal number of frantic phone calls. There is usually nothing wrong, Rose just loves her cows and wants to make sure everything is alright. Eventually I’ll give in, will go look at the new calf, assure Rose that everything is fine, and the phone calls will end until the next one goes into labor. Even Rose realizes the silliness of the situation, and often asks me “Aren’t you glad I only have nine cows?”

My Mom thought this was hilarious. She turned to my Dad who is also a Veterinarian and said “John - he has a Diane!” I think every Veterinarian probably has a Rose or a Diane. While they can be a handful, they also make the job worthwhile, and it’s rewarding to see people that love their animals so much, and to be trusted enough to be invited into their circle.

So the following week I was shocked when Rose called me at 8:00 on Saturday morning to inform me that two of her cows had calved over night, and she was convinced it required a visit right away. So I agreed, and headed her direction. What I found unbelievable though was that Rose had let me sleep all night long with two cows in labor, without calling me to come assist at least one of them. I could not believe it, Rose had really come a long way in her comfort level with her cows.

Then I stepped out of the truck at Rose’s place. It quickly became evident that Rose had not matured in her comfort level with her cows one whit. She was a nervous wreck. I could see each mother and each new baby, as always it seemed that there was nothing wrong. I couldn’t understand why Rose was such a mess. Then she explained to me: her phone had died over night, so her three AM alarm to check on the cows had not gone off. Subsequently her cows were forced to calve on their own, without her there to supervise. She was beating herself up for being the worst Momma to her Cows that she could possibly be. She was worried the wrong cows had the wrong calves, that the babies had not had colostrum, that they were all going to die, because she had failed to plug in her phone.

I tried to console her that I was pretty sure the cows were smart enough to know which baby belonged to which cow. Then we mixed up some colostrum and fed each calf to alleviate that fear.

I figured I was well ahead though. I’d taken care of two cows and two calves with only one phone call and one trip to her farm. But of course with Rose that wasn’t good enough, I made a second trip to her place later that evening to recheck one of the calves, that she didn’t think was nursing well enough yet. Makes sense I guess, she’d had two babies born, it should require two trips.

That means we’re down to only six more cows to calve. If my math is correct that means I’ll receive at least 36 more texts, 36 more phone calls, and will make at least six more trips to her place before her calving season is over. Also I’m pretty sure if I went in her house now, I’d see it now looks like Doc Brown’s house from Back to the future, with the walls covered in clocks, just to make sure if her phone ever dies again in the future, she’ll have a backup, and a backup to the backup.

I’ve never believed in reincarnation, but if it’s a thing I think I would like to come back as one of Rose’s cows. I think that would be A-okay.