I had just left the Dairy after the morning’s preg check, when the phone rang. It was the herdsman of the dairy I had just left. “Hey Doc, are you still on the place? Juan tells me he has a problem in the maternity pen.” “I just left, but I’ll be right back.” I reply, while flipping a U-turn.
I pull up to the maternity barn, and am greeted by Juan. “¿Que tienes, Señor Juan?” I ask. “No sé, pero no es bueno.” He replies.
As we walk into the barn, I see the cow with tiny purple intestines protruding from her Vulva. I immediately know we’ve got a Schistosomus. “You’re right Juan, it’s not bueno.” I run my arm into her to decide if it’s going to be easier to get out with a fetotomy, or a C-section. I decide a C-section will be easier.
Just then the herdsman pulls up with his nine year old son in the truck with him. “What have we got Doc?” “It’s a Schistosomus.” I reply. “What’s that?” He asks. “It’s a birth defect, where the calf is deformed. It’s kind of turned inside out. You can see it’s intestines are outside of its body, and up on that end we’re going to have all four feet and it’s head. It’s not coming out of this hole, we’re going to pull it out through the side hatch.”
“Well why does it have such a funny name?” He queries.
“I think what happened, is that the very first Vet to ever come across one, stuck his hand in the cow, felt what a mess it was and said ‘Ah shiii….,’ then looking over and seeing the farmers 9 year old son watching him intently, quickly adjusted what he was about to say to ‘Ah Schi…..stosomus reflexus.’ Making up a scientific sounding name right there on the spot to protect the boys innocent ears.”
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